Sunday, 14 August 2016


8:30 PM. my alarm goes off, I reached to my bedside table and pull out the foiled packet along with water, Flavored of course, to distract from bitterness of the shame and Failure swallowed along with a little pill called sertaline.
Doctors office, smile on my face head held high! Just one question to wipe it all way, I feel the question bounce around my head I feel the shame well up inside me, just this one question "are you on any medication" my head drops my eyes fixed on my fiddling fingers "sertaline" my voice betrays me and begins to shake "an anti depressant"
Sertaline The pill I have to take so that blood doesn't drip down my arm from the cuts I have carved out on myself, in the hope that I can just feel something but emptiness. Sertaline the pill I have to take in hopes that today I will not take my own life. Sertaline The pill I better not Forget to take otherwise I'll be crazy and the feeling of emptiness will overpower me. Sertaline A lot to swallow for such a little pill. 
8.30pm, my alarm goes off, instead of pulling a foiled packet from my bedside table along with water, flavored of course, A smile forms on my face pride begins to fill my whole body of a reminder of what I did, of what I achieved, of how strong I am! Because Sertaline you haven't been invited into my body for a while now, there is no more emptiness for you to fill, I'm too full up from pride strength and happiness. 
Sertaline the pill I USED to take!

Monday, 1 August 2016

Milk + Blush hair extensions

I get bored with my hair pretty easy and fast so I like to change it up and I decided this time that I wanted ombre and and long hair so I knew hair extensions where going to be a must. I hate trying to find hair extensions cause I know they are either going to be ridiculously expensive or tacky and bad quality and call me greedy but I wanted a good price and good quality so I decided to look around. The normal place I buy them is just a local beauty shop near me and they are good but they are never thick enough for my hair and don't last long no matter how I look after them so I decided this time I wasn't going to get them from there. After a few days of looking around reading reviews  I decided to order these lovely ones from milk and blush. When they come I was so excited I had my hair dye ready to match my hair to the extensions. When opening them up I thought the box they come in was so pretty and was perfect to store them in and keep them safe which was ideal as I was looking for ways to store them safely. Once I opened them up there was two compartments one which was the main part and was sealed with a security sticker and another with just one piece in to see if the color matched your hair, I thought this was a really nice idea as I like the fact you could test them with out causing any damage to the rest of the hair and then just send it back if they didn't match. There was many different colours sets and lengths I got the full head hair extensions classic set in the color Bel air baby with the length being 20-22 inch and I love them.

 they are so soft and shiny but not shiny as in fake but healthy they are super thick and are perfect for my naturally thick I don't find there is much hair lost when brushing threw them plus they are easy to apply and the clips are secure. You can tell they are good quality and was only £110 which I think is excellent for the thickness, quality, and length. From what I have experience up to yet I will definitely be purchasing hair extensions from here again.

I also brought the loop hair extension brush from there at £5.50 and I love this it doesn't tug at the extensions like a normal brush does and keeps them healthy longer.

Locked mouse

So as much as I want to continue my blog and be able to keep it up to date there are somethings that get it the way and can't be helped. For example my laptops mouse pad not working, turns out that I just accidentally locked the pad off but I am not computer savvy enough to find that out for myself lucky my old friend goggle came to the rescue. I will try to continue to post as much as possible and try to work around or fix and problems that may pop up so that I am able to work on my blog and make it more reliable as it is something that I love doing and hope to be doing for a while. anyway this is just a quick update to explain about my locked mouse and my very little and limited computer skills so be patient with me as I still learn my way around computes and blogging.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

How I get my teeth white on a budget

* disclaimer I am not an expert nor am I claiming to be these are just a few things I like to do to help whiten my teeth.

My teeth are something I always get complimented on about how nice and straight and white they are. unfortunately getting straight teeth isn't something I can tell you about as I have always had straight teeth, although I do know there are ways for that, but getting them whiter and cleaner is.

The first step is pretty simple and something we should all be doing at least twice a day anyway, brushing them! As simple as this is there are ways you can up your brushing game and the first one is simple get a good tooth brush and tooth paste. This doesn't mean spending £50 on a tooth brush but getting a electric one will help. The one I have is off amazon and was just a few pounds and leaves my teeth feeling so clean and well brushed after. It even came with two extra heads and a lid to cover it to stop germs getting on it and a stand plus is is PINK! that's what I call a barging. Now toothpaste is something I found is all about trail and error as I found ones that work for me but don't necessarily work for other plus I like to change them up too. The one I am using at the minute is Colgate whitening toothpaste witch works amazingly for me plus Colgate is one of my favorite toothpaste brands. I also add in mouth wash and flossing into my brushing routine too just to go that extra way I don't use any pacific brand for this I guess they are just trail and error too. Another way I up my brushing game is a timer. I will set a timer on my phone while brushing my teeth for 3 minutes and that way I know they are getting a really good clean.

Going the extra mile 
Out side of brushing your teeth there are other things you can do to help clean and whiten your teeth. One of these which I am sure most of you have hear about is oil pulling. There are little packs that you can by from places that are specially made for this and there are different kinds of oils you can use. I just buy a jar of coconut oil making sure it is virgin coconut oil the one I use is Biona organic virgin coconut and I buy this off amazon. Although coconut oil can be a little bit on the expensive side It is defiantly worth it as it can be used for SO many different things and is SO good at all of them honestly is is my holy grail and something I have to have (maybe we will make that into a diffident blog post?). I try to oil pull about once a day sometimes missing a day or two. To do this I will take a table spoon full of coconut oil then warm it up in my mouth until it becomes a liquid and then just pull it around my mouth, a little like you do with mouth wash, I will do this for around 15-20 minutes and then I will spit it out ( remember oil can clog your drains ) leaving my teeth feeling and looking super clean. How this work is (supposedly, I feel it work) it draws out toxins from you body (yeah don't swallow it)  improving you oral and even over all general heath. I am not going to lie this does not taste to good but you do get use to it after while.
Another way I Like to go the extra mile is to use teeth withing strips The ones I use are advanced teeth whiting strips which is something else I also buy of amazon for just a few pounds. In this you get the instructions a little card to compare you progress to and 14 pouches of teeth whitening strips which all come with a upper teeth strip and a lower one. These are easy to apply and do not have a horrible taste. To use these I follow the instructions on the pack leaving them on 30 minutes, using them daily so they are used in 14 days and the redoing them every three mouths and they leave my teeth looking so white and clean. I could see the different in my teeth after one use of one strip and I honestly love them and have already brought some more. These are the thing that have made the biggest difference to my teeth.

A few random tips 
  • drink threw a straw 
  • Avoid things that stain your teeth like smoking and drinking tea and coffee
  • Avoid eating to many sugary foods
  • Use strawberries and baking soda mixed together and apply this on your teeth 
  • Rub the inside of a banana peel on your teeth
  • clean your tongue 
  • Eat water rich vegetables 
  • Drink plenty of water 
  • Get them regularly checked 

Feel free to let me know if you have any tips I would love to know. 

Monday, 4 July 2016

It's ok to have a bad day

Yesterday wasn't one of my best day, I felt so low and lonely and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get myself out of feeling so low. I just ended up just spending all day in my bed crying and not eating or drinking properly. To make it worse I also felt so weak and like I had failed for feeling this way. I had been making so much progress lately and feeling so good that to have this kind of day made me feel like I had failed and gone back to the start, when in fact that was not the case at all. Today is a whole new different day and it's one of the best days I have had in a long time I manged to get out of bed, workout, take my dog for a long walk, and have a little chat with a few of my friends plus I am here writing this blog and I have been eating healthy meals and getting enough water into my body. I also did something to day that is a very big deal to me and made me so so proud of myself ( maybe we will go into that one day in the future). After having such an amazing successful day I realized that yesterday didn't mean I was weak or failing or taking a step back it just simply meant I was human. Today I have been stronger than ever and and carried on taking steps forward. I now know that next time I have a bad day, which I will because I am only human, not to be so harsh on myself and know that it's ok to feel that way, to cry, to not want to get out of bed and it doesn't mean that I am a weak person. I also know that it isn't going to last for ever and I will get back on track in my own time at my own pace and for now I just need to look after myself and be kind to myself. Life is full of ups and downs It doesn't mean that you are weak or anything like that it means that you are human and living. So here is my message to you if you're having a bad day, it's ok! go cry as much as you need go lay in bed and watch Netflix all day if you have to just don't feel ashamed or guiltily for feeling this way, it is only natural. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself. it's ok to have a bad day just don't unpack and live there, cry it out, take the time out you need, then refocus. When I was having a bad day I did talk to some friends ( something I advise to everyone is  to reach out to loved ones) and one thing one of them said really helped and It's something I will remember for the rest of my life "it's temporary, ride it out".

You're not alone guys! xx

Saturday, 2 July 2016

MAC prep+prime. Is it worth it?

This is something that I have always been stuck in two minds about weather I should buy it or not. On one hand people rave about it a lot and I have always wanted something that would actually help keep my make up on. On the other hand its quite expensive and I hate when I spend a lot of money on things that don't work (don't we all). After much debating I decided I just have to give it a try if it don't work then at least I know and I will get over it but if it does then that would be amazing! Now to answer the question... is it worth it? YES 1000% YES!! I absolutely love it! Not only do I use it to prep+prime my face but I use it to wet my beauty blender, wet my eye shadow brush for when I want it to pick up more product and to help with products that are hard to get out of the pan, and by the way it works great for all these things. When I use this product my makeup looks so much more flawless and less cakey plus it helps my makeup stop clinging to my horrible dry skin and even after a long, hard, busy day I come back with my make up looking just as flawless as when I walked out the door when all I had to do is touch up a bit of lipstick threw the day. I would honestly advises getting this and I defiantly think it is worth it. I love coming back from a long day with my eyeliner still being fleeky and my highlight glowing like the sun (I like a lot of glow!) It doesn't have a nasty smell to it like some other products I have tried and it doesn't irritate my sensitive skin or leave me with a break out. The only downs side (sort of down side) is that it is that good at its jobs its hard to remove when it comes to take of your makeup at the end of the day, but I can deal with that.
Have you tried this product out how did it work for you?

I'm back! (sorry)

When I first started this blog it was something that I wanted to keep working on to make it something that I was proud of, and although it was something I was proud of and enjoyed doing life got in the way. I am not going to go into detail on that as it is privet, maybe one day in the future, but the point is I took some much needed time out and now I am back. I actually started to miss my blog and blogging and realized even in the hard times its something I should continue to work on. This is just a quick message to up date you, as much as possible, and to let you know that I am back with so many blog idea that I am looking forward to sharing with you.