Sunday, 14 August 2016


8:30 PM. my alarm goes off, I reached to my bedside table and pull out the foiled packet along with water, Flavored of course, to distract from bitterness of the shame and Failure swallowed along with a little pill called sertaline.
Doctors office, smile on my face head held high! Just one question to wipe it all way, I feel the question bounce around my head I feel the shame well up inside me, just this one question "are you on any medication" my head drops my eyes fixed on my fiddling fingers "sertaline" my voice betrays me and begins to shake "an anti depressant"
Sertaline The pill I have to take so that blood doesn't drip down my arm from the cuts I have carved out on myself, in the hope that I can just feel something but emptiness. Sertaline the pill I have to take in hopes that today I will not take my own life. Sertaline The pill I better not Forget to take otherwise I'll be crazy and the feeling of emptiness will overpower me. Sertaline A lot to swallow for such a little pill. 
8.30pm, my alarm goes off, instead of pulling a foiled packet from my bedside table along with water, flavored of course, A smile forms on my face pride begins to fill my whole body of a reminder of what I did, of what I achieved, of how strong I am! Because Sertaline you haven't been invited into my body for a while now, there is no more emptiness for you to fill, I'm too full up from pride strength and happiness. 
Sertaline the pill I USED to take!

No comments:

Post a Comment